No one believes me because he doesn't hit me.

by anon because im terrified
(please don't ask me that. if he finds out...)

No one believes me about the domestic violence my partner heaps on me. You see, he doesn't hit me.

He does other things. The things that don't leave a bruise or a broken bone for all to see.

He puts things in my food and drink that have destroyed my health. I have woken up with needle marks in my arms, and twice on my feet. Over many years I have tried to keep myself safe. he is always a step ahead. I feel utterly alone. All I do is cry.

He used to wait until I went to sleep to get sex out of me. He used to force himself on me a lot of the time, and I would give in. It was easier that way.

I went to the doctors many times and told them what I thought was happening to me, and told them my gut feelings. they didn't believe me. No one seems to believe that domestic violence is not just about the awful beatings, and rapes. It is about the mental abuse, the spiteful nastiness, how he blames you for everything wrong in his life to justify the affairs he has.

My only exit is death or homelessness. I'd rather be dead than homeless. My partner can be immensely cruel and extremely nasty. He says the most hurtful things that are unimaginable. He says he likes to see me suffer. I made the mistake once of telling one of his friends about what was happening. His friend told him straight away, and he threatened me saying I wasn't worth living, and, if I ever did it again, he would kick me out on the street. I asked him to give me some money so I would not be homeless, but he said no, and the most he would give me was 20$, which he hasn't, and didn't.

No one believes me, everyone thinks he is wonderful and awesome, but he isn't, not behind closed doors. I had a friend, a lady much older than myself. She didn't believe me either. When I tried to tell my family about what was happening and he found out, life was much worse for me. I am terrified he will find out that I am writing this. I have no where to go, no money, no job, and my health is bad. He is an emotional blackmailer with sociopath/psychopathic tendencies. He is addicted to prescription meds.

There are a lot of days where I fear for my life. I worry about the women he sees, because the same would very easily happen to them, drugging their food and drink and all the bad stuff he has done to me.

Comments for No one believes me because he doesn't hit me.

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by: Anonymous

I believe you

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm so sorry.

But I believe you.

I know what they're like and how scary they are; and the helplessness that no one will ever believe you and no one is going to help you.

If you're lucky enough not to have kids with them, please leave. Run. Call a domestic abuse shelter. Please don't stay. They get worse. Until one day they try and hit you.

And if you dare tell anyone, if you make the mistake I did, they get so much worse

Please run. You need to find someone who knows
Even if it's another DA survivor - although I don't feel like I'm surviving, I feel like I'm drowning.. but please leave them.

I believe you
To the " person" above.
by: Anonymous

To anonymous above. I find your comment unreasonable. You don't know what people can go through. And you don't consider the fact that the more insane things sociopaths do, the better they get away with it because the victim telling will make the victim seem crazy.

And maybe the original writer is so gaslighted that she doesn't even believe herself, and her doubt comes out in her writing. Please give people the benefit of the doubt instead of acting like a sociopath yourself.
Its a emotioal and pyschological abuse
by: Anonymous

There is someone messing with me also. And I can't believe it's happening because it is very unnerving. I had a sexual relationship with this person for a few months and then I ended it. But I find out he is sneaking stalking me by coming into every apartment I lived in and getting into my stuff and my fridge! He defeats the cameras I had and gets into my phones also. Now He is coming into the 6ft of empty space beneath my front room but maintaince here denies there is all that space for him to spy on me. Been scratching up my steering wheel of my car too. This is so unbelievable!! He trying to make people think I'm crazy. How I know it's him? He does two things at each place to make sure I know it's him. He plays head games and he's in his 60s!! Who does that? I am old and in bad health too
Mental Abuse
by: Anonymous

My estranged husband, he was the same. I received my first payout from the US NAVY in 2013. In August we moved to Tuscon Arizona. His sister had a mobile home we could rent. THAT was the most significant mistake I ever made. I never saw it coming.

Cameras were in the home, as she was a huge drug dealer and sociopathic narc herself, and cameras were outside the home.
I was scared to death. Of course, his story would be, " you made me do it" and " I am going to call my sister to come kick your ass."

He had me scared, a 6-foot fence around the property, locked in every night to the point of him having me believe that it was better to secure the wall at night so people couldn't get in. IT WAS to keep ME IN.

We had bars all over the home. The front door had to have a key to open from the inside. The back master bedroom was a sliding door-bars over that, but a key to get into it. I used to bar the back sliding doors at night. He would laugh at me. Always secretive on the phone. At night I could hear him talking to "her" -sister? Girlfriend? I was Gang Stalked in the neighborhood where we lived. My ex-narc is a sociopath, and CARTEL, Texas syndicate, connected. I fear for my life all the time. I am tired of looking over my shoulder, I am tired of watching my rear view mirrors, and side and continually being aware of my surroundings.

It will never stop until I gain my divorce, he goes to prison ( 4 counts of drugs) Tucson, and I do a name change /SS change. I cannot get a divorce until December due to not being in the state I am in for six months. Legal aid - GO FIGURE!

I pray every day.....I have the car he bought for me, the one he used to transport drugs. I now have it registered in my name. I cannot wait for this name change. I have had to apply for a secret PO Box thru the state. ( DO THIS ... it is worth it.) The postal service does not do it. A person has to see an advocate at a shelter or go to your local DA office. Victim advocates are the best to talk to when needing help. Get a throwaway phone - my narc was able to receive all calls, texts as well as do data activity with his cellphone. I once registered on a dating site to see him squirm. I saw him looking on the site. He was sitting on the couch at the time, and I stood in the kitchen and watched as his face dropped. THEN, I KNEW I finally had to leave somehow.
He had been threatening me since 2009. I was told, "I am only joking." Yeah, ok.

Anyone know Joe? Don't play with him. You will lose the game.
Get out
by: Anonymous

Get out, call the police, just get out of the toxic relationship, I know it's very challenging and mentally exhausting but look where your life is going? do you have kids? think of them.. if you don't would you like kids? you only have one life, get out while you can and run away as far away from the nutter as you can.
You're not alone
by: Anonymous

I was in a relationship that was abusive but didn't get violent until the end. To this day I can't get anyone to understand that I've long forgotten the physical injuries I sustained but I can't forget how horrible it was be surrounded by people and yet so horribly alone. Couldn't they hear me screaming? It's been 10 years and I'm still carrying that weight with me. I could have pressed charges since I had to get staples in my head but what was the point? Jail time for a few bumps and bruises? What about the mental rape? The fact that he hijacked my brain destroyed everything I was? What is the punishment for unrepairable mental damage? Nothing. I would rather be beaten everyday for the rest of my life than suffer the mental wounds one more minute. You can leave him. He can't stop you. You are stronger than him in all the ways that really matter. There's help for you, you don't have to do it alone. They make you feel like you can't survive without then but you can and you're not alone.

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