Little Penny

by SIANCURTIS7
(UK)

Hi, I'm going to tell you about my life story. It all started when I was 16 years old around about January 2016. I saw what my mum was going through with her boyfriend, who would have been my stepdad one day. When New Year's day kicked off, he had consumed loads of alcohol. Then, he was asleep, but when he awoke, he became nasty and violent towards my mum. It was scary and terrible for me to see.

Well, that was just part of it. I met this guy I liked, and we started talking on Facebook. He seemed perfect. He knew what I was going through with depression and anxiety and self-harming. I met him a couple of times. After the night my mum's boyfriend kicked off he gave us somewhere to stay for a few days to get out of the trama, as there was glass everywhere and police adviced us not to go back, so we didn't.

Well, my boyfriend moved in then at the end of January. I thought everything was perfect, but it all changed. I was 17 turning 18 in June. The first couple of times I shared the sofa with him just cuddling at night. Then, he started getting pushy. The more I slept on the couch with him the more he wanted to do things like any couple does. So we started trying things. He knew it was my first time but then it started getting pushy, and I thought it was normal. He wanted sex, which I was a virgin. He said he was a virgin also, but he wasn't. So we tried sex. He forced it in when I said let's take it slow. He ended up getting kicked out of my mums in the end, as I found he had cheated on me. But no, that wasn't the end of it.

I was blind to what was happening. I moved out because I thought my mum was harsh, but she wasn't. She was rigid to protect me. I ended up in another house with him. He started controlling me. I wasn't allowed a phone. I wasn't allowed to talk to my mum because she was apparently evil. I wasn't allowed friends or to go out. I lived in this house with him and a few others. He started working. He started coming home later and sometimes earlier. On certain days after shaving and dressing well, he would come back stinking of body odor and smell weird. I was accused of cheating when I didn't leave the house. Then my 18th birthday arrived, and I started signing on for money for myself. He took my money and told me what he wanted my money to go for him. He accused me of wearing makeup to cheat. I had no one, nothing. I was alone.

After that, the hitting started when he drank. Other abuse began including pushing, shoving, forceful sex, being locked in a room until I was let out, having a razor to my throat. His violence included forcing me to fall down the stairs but saying sorry for scaring me because he didn't mean to joke about it. The mental and physical abuse was every day since May 2016. Then, the emotional control in which he asserted I want sex, let's have sex. I gave him sex when he wanted it. First, it started with protection, but then he got nasty. I used to get sore a lot, probably from being forced to lose my virginity. He told me he never had sex before, but he had got another girl pregnant three times, and she had three abortions on purpose. I believed him. Then he started telling me if I didn't want sex I had to stay dressed because he hated it or sleep somewhere else. He started having sex with no protection because he wanted a child. I did not plan it, but he got me pregnant. He punched me in the stomach while I was pregnant. I didn't lose the child. I'm still pregnant now, but the abuse I got from him, I couldn't take. I moved to my dad's with him. He started abusing me there, and my dad kicked him out right away.

I'm now with someone else, but the past of this trauma is haunting me for life. Please get out while you can because you will have live with the pain of it afterward. If you wait until it's too late, you could end up dead.