Get Help, Make a Plan, Get Out, Stay Out

by MaryAnn
(Michigan)

It was Mother's Day 2014 when I became aware my dear sister was in an abusive marriage. As a family member, you know that something isn't right but can't put your finger on it. Then something happens.

Her kids bought her a puppy for mother's day as a surprise. When the puppy was presented, the abuser blew up. His face turned red, and eyes bulged out. He screamed at his kids with anger radiating off him like heat waves. The kids saved their allowance to buy the dog, but he yelled at his kids that he was going to take the puppy to the pound. He told his kids they would "be sorry" if they did not return the puppy. Then he started asking everyone in the house if they wanted to take the dog. His 2 daughters cried in front of everyone. His son escaped to his bedroom.

I later asked my sister about it and she admitted her husband slams her into walls, throws her to the floor, calls her a "fat whore", restricts her access to money, hires private investigators to follow her because he is convinced she is cheating, and has put spyware on her phone to record her phone calls. She said she cannot leave because she wants to keep her "family intact". I've given her my support, have given her a pre-paid phone and set aside money in an account for her. She recently just told me she forgot I had done those things for her. Obviously I am the only one who thinks her situation is bad. I've just closed out the account. It makes me sad she cannot confront her reality.

For those on this site who may see this, I believe you are already on the right track. Keep going, keep pushing forward and save yourself. I believe you deserve better and can have a great life.

Please make a plan, get out, and stay out. It will save your life.