Domestic Violence Story by Rachel

by Rachel brown
(Wales)

When I met him he was so kind, thoughtful and caring. I had never met a gentler man with such respect for a woman. He offered to help, give me lifts everywhere and anywhere, he never said no to helping in fixing up the house and refused me to even say thank you saying it's what he should do.

Although at first I enjoyed things and the support, it got to a point where I realised it was more about control. He wanted me to be dependent on him and need him. He didn't like my independence, so going anywhere alone wasn't allowed. Nothing he felt I could do without his assistance.

He warned me he had a very bad temper, and he had beat one man very badly once for insulting his mum but said he had and would never hit a women. His anger would flare up anytime I got a message on Facebook and questioned me on everyone blocking people on my Facebook himself if male. He went thru my phone call lists, internet history, emails and day to day activities, questioning me to see if he could find an inaccuracy, knowing I had a forgetful mind he used that to insist I was lying. If I took long in court, which is one of places he couldn't come to, he'd insist I was having an affair.

He first hit me around 2 months into our relationship. He got mad that a guy had messaged me from my past and insisted we had been chatting behind his back. He whacked me hard many times on my bottom, and legs, and he threw me across bedroom and covered my mouth to shut me up. He called me a prostitute and said every guy just wants to fuck me as that's all I have to offer, I don't have money, looks or a brain.

His violence got worse and more frequent to the point he was always not happy for no reason and started making up things to be mad about. If I hadn't cuddled him, if I'd said something he felt I shouldn't, taking too long in the shops, or just not listening to him he'd say.

He tried to push my hand backwards with full force, and it felt like he wanted to snap it off. He's squeezed my jaw with one hand so hard pushing his fingers in to stop me talking and that was sore every time I spoke or ate anything. He tried to put his hand in my mouth to rip out my tongue to shut me up. He tried holding my mouth open with hand and forcing his other in my mouth. He did anal sex and when it hurt he never cared less, and I never wanted to do it. He tried strangling me and banging my head with the force of pushing me into the wall. He would stand in front putting hands behind my back in a locked position then crushing his hands into my back so it felt my back would crack from the pressure. It gave a great deal of pain, and if I said it hurt he'd do it harder saying I didn't know what pain was and now he'll show me.

Right now I have bruises, a messed up head of confusion and the feeling of hate, but I am scared as I know he might come back again. He's stalked me and said he'd never let me go.

As their threats are endless, I believe they're just words, and these men are cowards who can't do anything but hit a women who they were designed to keep safe, protect and love.

He caused this relationship to fail with his actions, and I won't ever let him near me again. He is an animal not a man. Keep safe and keep away from abusive men.