Domestic Violence Can Strike All Age Groups. You can get help, You can Leave.

by ASHLEY
(USA)

Every story is different. I guess to give you a little bit of input into my life before I begin, I will tell you that I had to grow up fast. As a young kid my parents divorced because my dad was violent and beat my mom. Soon after, we moved to a different city where my mother became addicted to crack; needless to say my childhood was over when I began to take care of my little sister. Then my aunt and uncle received custody of us. I was molested, yet the true facts as to what really happen have been buried deep by my family. I never had a childhood and had to grow up extremely fast.

So when I was 15 years old I met this guy who was extremely nice, polite, and a gentleman. He was my first at intercourse and then became my first love at 16. The whole year before we got together he seemed perfect. He showed no signs of anger or any warning signs. However, after the third month of dating him his attitude and behavior changed drastically. He got angry at the littlest things - I guess I should have seen the rest coming from that point. He went from yelling to hitting. I don't quite remember the first time that I was actually hit, but I do know I wish I would have left him at that moment.

He would slam me into counters, walls, couches, and even cement blocks. He would slap me, yank me up and pull me by my hair. He began to choke me until I become unconscious, then it went from his hands choking me to choking me with anything in his grasp such as phone chargers. He would lock me in my own home by blocking the doors. He would punch me in the face and claim it was an accident and it would never happen again. I feel stupid that I ever believed that it would not happen again. He would bite me and leave huge bruises all over my body. He picked up one of my high heels and hit me so hard with it on my leg that a chunk of skin came out, and I now have to live with the deep scar it left behind. He busted my lip all the way through by throwing a lighter at my face. He slammed me onto the ground from a porch one night.

Then one thing that made me truly realize how deep in I was; was when he threw me from my bed to floor and made me miscarriage. Not a day goes by that I do not think of that. I only wish he/she could of had a chance. I only wish I would have been more careful, and every day I have to deal with the feelings. I know it is easy for other people to judge and look at me like I am stupid, but I thought I was in love. I felt as though if I left him no one else would want or care for me.

Along with the physical abuse, he also broke my self-esteem down. He would say little things to hurt me on purpose and make me feel lower than dirt. He would target the personal things I told him. He threatened my life and said if I ever left him he would come for me and my family. He held guns up to my head to prove his point. I was with him for a whole year, and, after a while, I guess I just stopped caring what happened to me. I also feared for my family and friends - he threatened them and their families too.

Along with him breaking my self-esteem, he used to cheat on me and talk to other girls all the time. However, if I found out and brought it up he would abuse me any way possible, as if it was my fault. He used to force me to have sex with him. It seemed as if I had no control or no say so, and that was the way he liked it. Yet, somehow God looked over me at my lowest points with him and then came the day where I could not take it anymore. I had to do something to better myself.

I was 17 and knew that if this continued I could be dead soon. So one night I decided that it was done. It hurt me more than anything has, but I knew I had to do what was best for me. He sent me threatening texts against my life, my family, and my friends. He kept saying the most hateful things and told me that I better come back to him and I was "his property." Even with all that, it was hard not to run back to really the only thing I had known.

(Once again this is something else I think only a person in this position could really understand).

As time went on the texts stopped, and now at 18 I have met a wonderful guy. He would do anything in the world for me. He has never put his hands on me, and he never gets overly angry at little things. He has never said anything hurtful to me either.

I know I am young, and there are more men out there. But, it feels good to know that men can actually care. It feels good to know that you don't have to hide ugly bruises from people or make up lies as to how they happened. It feels good to be appreciated and cared for. I am also a high school graduate, a CNA, and in a Nursing program. If I wouldn't have gotten out of that relationship, there is no telling where I would be right now. Once again, it was hard and scary. But with all that I have accomplished, I feel happy and proud for myself.

I encourage all young girls in this position to get out now.

The memories of what I went through will haunt me for a lifetime, but you can change your life. You can get out early by realizing the little signs. You can get out and start a better life for yourself. Don't ever let a man bring you down because in the end you are only hurting yourself.

Here is a teen's guide to getting out of such a violent relationship: