Crazy Ain't Cute

by Brenda R
(Milwaukee, WI)

Dorm Room Devil

I hopped on the elevator with about five other residents and pressed the orange lit button making my way up to the fourth floor. That Friday night was game night and as I ascended, I could smell the aroma of burnt popcorn in the air and could hear laughter and giggles from the girls of Caroline Hall. The fourth floor was the more “interactive” floor as we were noisier and rowdy on the weekends. My friends and I loved to hook up the Nintendo Wii to any TV we could find just to get in a few games of Just Dance. The lounge, as tiny and cramped as it was, was our get away from life. All designed by Mount Mary’s interior design students, the purple whimsical hard cushion sofas were often scooched against the wall, the sky blue water colored curtains tied in a knot to let the cool air in, and the glass table placed as a resting spot for our home-made smoothies. We had community showers and bathrooms located in each wing and therefore were forced to come out of our rooms and communicate with other girls. The other two floors were suites that were quieter and a bore, but you didn’t hear it from me.

Getting off the elevator I walked past the lounge barely filled with college girls playing games of Monopoly and Sorry. In the background, the flamboyant voices of Glee were playing on TV. Too bad I couldn’t join the festivities as I’d just gotten back from a date with a male friend from Chipotle. This guy at the time was a dream come true and after a couple months, was one I had taken a strong liking to. We will call him “Dee.” Dee was very handsome and my type of guy. His skin tone was as caramel and sweet as a vanilla wafer smudged between a platters of banana pudding on a Thanksgiving Day. His shoulders were as strong as construction boulders and broad as a linebacker from Friday Night Lights. And his hands that caressed mine were like the touch of brown and rough leather gloves that thickened when you slid your fingers in one by one. My mind would wonder off only on him and soon land me in distracted thoughts. The same thoughts that drove another man insane and put me in a life or death situation. Still cheesing stupidly, I made my way to my door scrambling my purse for my keys.

Walking into my dorm, I noticed I’d left my door unlocked. That was very common as I’d sometimes quickly leave and come back from washing my dirty clothes in the laundry room downstairs. The vibe in the room creeped me out and my eye twitched like a dozen lightning bugs trapped in a jelly jar. Something was unusual as my laptop was opened on my bed. I’d closed it before I left. Strange. My room decorated all over with bubblegum pink ottomans, comforters, hello kitty decals and rugs, didn’t feel so much like a homey college dorm anymore. Feeling even more uneasy, I carefully observed the rest of the room and noticed an unknown male navy blue jacket lay rested on my desk chair in the middle of the floor.

Before I know it, a man jumps out of my closet to the left of me pouncing like a leopard on his prey! I scream as if I’d seen death right before my eyes and he covers my mouth with his sweaty palms to prevent my cry for help.

“What are you doing here?!” I yell with a confused look on my face.

“I, I came to just talk to you.” Devil says hesitantly. “All I want to do is talk.”

I am scared out of my mind and all I could think was,

“How did he get in here?”

“Leave before I call the police!” I say.

Looking into his eyes, I could see his drunken, sluggish glossy, spirit mixed with Hennessey and vodka. It was a spirit here to do no good. We will call him “Devil in Disguise”. Devil did not let me leave my dorm for hours. Pulling out his gun he threatened to kill me and himself if I didn’t comply. “This may be my last day here on this Earth”, I thought. “I haven’t had the chance to say goodbye to family and friends. I had not the chance to say my last “I love you’s”. I kept yelling for my R.A hoping that someone would become suspicious of the noises from the scuffling and screams, but no one heard. The laughter and music must have overridden my voice. I panicking made Devil panicky and so I had to remain calm. Looking at my window I thought jumping four stories but I didn’t think I could risk it. Still managing to push my way to the door, he continued to cover my mouth and pushing me back. At that point I had to think smart. What is a way I can get out of this room? I was ready for this to be over.

“I really have to use the bathroom.” I try next. “I’ve been holding it all day. Just let me go.”

“Hell no. I’m not fuckin’ stupid.” Devil replies.

I begin shouting again only to make matters worse, he pulls the gun from his jeans and points it in my face. I hold up my hands and hesitantly say, “Please don’t do this! Calm down”. My heart skips a beat.

He is drenched in sweat as if he just ran a marathon. His face looked scared of the consequences he may face. I finally so peacefully and serene beg and plead him to let me out for a soda from the vending machine. He tuck the gun back in his pants and finally we are out the door.

“Don’t fucking try anything stupid”, he says.

I’m so relieved to be out, the fresh air that is hitting my face is like freedom out of prison. The outcome is still unpredictable. Walking to the lounge, I remain calm. I drop the silver coins in the machine slowly as I could thinking of a master plan on how to escape from this pyscho. Grabbing a sprite, I slowly began walking to the bathroom and finally seen my R.A on duty at the time and thought “This might be my only and final chance.”

I yell, “He’s got a gun!”

The girls around me panic, Devil throws my cell phone down that he’s kept to prevent me from calling the police. It shatters into pieces. My R.A, as frightened as she was, tries to call for security and at the same time I think of my next move.

Devil was an ex-boyfriend of mine and it appears that he had been waiting for me in my dorm for a couple of hours now. Devil and I had broken up over a few months back and he couldn’t get over the fact that this was really over. There was no official break up day but you see I just couldn’t do it anymore. I stopped answering calls and text messages. I was no longer a puppy dog. Two years ago back in 2012, I had met a timid but intelligent “man” that drew me in from a Facebook account. That simple message “Hi beautiful” was way better than “Wuz gud sexxi?” Online dating is more typical now and days and you find out a lot about a person from their profile- and so I thought. That was the first no-no I made but naïve nineteen year ol’ me gave this twenty-four year old scumbag a chance. We had gotten to know one another and we grew closer but what I started to see in him were things I never seen before. As a woman in college trying to better myself instead of him encouraging me, he broke me down mentally and physically. That slap, that punch, that kick, made me insecure about myself. Every time I would tell myself that I couldn’t take it anymore I’d come crawling back. I guess that was just the cycle of it all and over the course of two years, I was at my lowest of low. The calls, the texts, the emails and death threats did not cease. And on this day, he actually stuck to his word! I thought me blocking him from Facebook would work. I thought ignoring him would send a message that I wanted him out of my life. No one, not even his family and closest friends knew of his behavior. No one knew of his spazzing out slapping me when he became upset for his wrong doings. No one knew of his verbal abuse. I was so ashamed to tell my friends being the strong woman that everyone had perceived me to be. It was times I had become scared to leave campus. I mean this guy knew where I lived and worked. He knew of my schedule probably from morning to dawn.

Still in the hallway of Caroline Hall, I stand side by side my R.A who is still in shock. She is shaking tremendously, her knees are weak and she attempts to make the call with her I-phone in one hand and keys in another.

“Ju just st st stay right here ok?” She says under her breath.

She tells me to stay as security is coming, but I know for sure he was after me. I then busted through the double steel doors running as fast as I could down the stairs to the first level. I tried to find a safe place that was surrounded with people and I and other students on that floor were directed to the residence life office. Students on campus were informed to stay in their dorm rooms and lock the door until further notice. Relieved that I was safe and unarmed, I spent the next few hours speaking with police and detectives. Over and over again I told the same story explaining how I knew Devil, what time I got in my dorm to what he did to me. Even though blocks down Menomonee River Parkway he was caught, I’d never forget that cold pistol to my face and having to endure the day in and day out court dates. I’d never again want to end up having loved the devil.