"But I Thought He Loved Me"

by Wanda Miller Curry
(Forest Park. Georgia, USA)

Often a victim of domestic violence is unaware of how persuasive an abuser can be. The victim is taken by surprise when the person that they loved suddenly seems to change, and the relationship becomes unsafe.

There is a pattern that most abusers establish. Typically it looks something like this:

The victim is treated special at the beginning of the relationship. They feel loved and wanted. They feel no apprehension, and no threat, so their defenses are down and the trust level is very high. The thought of this person ever harming them in any way, never enters their mind.

The violence usually does not happen right away. Other things take place. Sometimes it starts with "jealousy." At first, it is flattering. Then the jealousy grows out of control. Slowly, the victim seems to be rearranging their whole lifestyle to please the abuser.

Sometimes by the time the victim realizes the seriousness of the abuse and the danger that they are in, it is too late.

when the victim attempts to get out or free themselves from the situation, the abuser becomes even more of a threat.

One of the most important things that a victim can do is to share with someone that they trust. The abuser can be successful because many times, the victim does not tell.

The greatest weapon that an abuser has is the silence of the victim.

See these warning signs of domestic violence.