beautiful light shine bright

by lulu
(Anaheim California)

I have seen so many new things thru searching for explanations of what was needed by our Higher Self. I can't explain it because everybody looks at me as if I am flawed or damaged. I believe I have a higher purpose than to figure out why everybody else gave up faith in the good.

I felt smart at a young age, but I believe evil targeted me at a whole different level. I have been thru so many stages of life that I felt upside down. I'm a visual person and have recently had a breakthrough or breakdown. Others told me that I caused situations. The blame produced a domino effect in my upbringing, and I walked into a new challenge as I became a victim of domestic violence. I didn't even know how to break the cycle of child abuse thru toxic families. I am now a single mother of four children of light, who were all born during complicated and risky phases of my life.

I always felt different, in a box so to say. I tend to drift. I no longer wish to lose control of my life. I suffered for so long and, yet, I felt so typical, as the alleged crazy daughter of the lousy mom. I was checked out, convinced to believe I was at fault. Like I was supposed to like to be sexually abused, yet I was silent till now. Outsiders blamed me for chaos. Now, I realize otherwise after attending Padres Unidos Parenting Classes for youth. Despite past abuse, teachers uplifted me and found me to be the smartest one.

I do not blame my childhood for my trouble. I shall simply try!