Another Day, Another Step

by Sam
(UK)

I am just me. I am healing, slowly. I left the man who abused me six years ago. So to everyone else, I am fine now. But I know different, as most of you do. I had 22 years of abuse, from the age of 16. Physically and emotionally. I don't think I accepted what I had been through until I left him. I am not sure I even do now. It plays over and over on my mind, yet no-one wants to listen anymore. Who could blame them? I regret that my inner voice often now sounds like him, belittling me, telling me how useless I am, I am a sad sack of shit.... apparently.

But I have also come so far. I found the strength to leave an abusive companion, to be a pretty fantastic single mum, to get a small job, to manage my finances (just about), to change the locks, get a divorce :), get a dog :) :), start therapy, and redecorate. Sometimes I am too busy looking at my failures to notice all the things I have done. I am a survivor. I am not completely fine, I am struggling, but I am free now, and it is so much better, and it will get even better. One day I will be happy to socialize with my head held high. I will speak, and maybe even flirt, with a man. One day I will be ready to fall in love, travel, get a better job.

One day! :)